The article lists causes of rifts between siblings. The first it discusses is a difference of opinions. My brother and I are like the moon and the sun, nothing alike in appearance, size or function and when one gets in the way the other is pushed completely out of sight. However when we can work together efficiently, we coexist quite nicely as if that's how it was meant to be. In order to reach this equilibrium a few facts must be acknowledged. You can learn a lot from each other. By listening to your sibling's opinion, you may realize something you never knew. Understanding and keeping an open mind will help any relationship, and no one is always right. I know this is much easier said then done.
"There's an old story about two people both wanting the last orange. They
argue long and hard over who gets the orange. Finally, they really listen to
each other. They find that one wants the orange for the juice to drink and the
other wants the rind to flavour an orange cake. They share the orange and both
get what they want in the end."
Miscommunication is a huge problem between siblings. I know for a fact that when my brother says something I am constantly looking for 'what he really means'. It is possible that he is saying it. There are other times when I contradict him just to contradict him, or I object to a request simply because I am too stubborn. I fail to consider that we could each do things for each other and make life a little simpler without surrendering any part of our oh so tough reputations.
Here is what I think everyone has said at least once of a sibling. "You're the favorite, that's why I'm in trouble and you're not!" No. Come on. Of course each child is treated differently, they aren't the same. "Young Adult Health" suggests that if you are feeling this way you should relax first and then tell your parents how your feeling and why. They can probably explain something you're missing or fix a problem they didn't realize existed. It however is not a problem between you and your sibling how they are treated by your parents, it's obviously between you and your parents. Again I totally realize it's easier and way more advantageous in arguments to blame your sibling.
Finally here comes the reasons why you should attempt to do all these things and improve your sibling relationship.
1. They will always be related to you. (not what the psychologist says...my personal input)
2. You will have shared memories that last lifetimes
3. This is someone you can always depend on
It goes on to list things like laughter, fun games and things I feel nauseous writing. Yeah it's all great to have perfect relationships. A lot of what I read on this subject seemed like common sense, but when I thought about how often I applied it to my own relationship with my brother I was shocked. I don't try to understand him or even listen. I don't open the lines of communication because I am too ashamed of what I have not accomplished. To fix this maybe I should actually do something, makes more sense then totally isolating my brother. I figured if I needed these reminders maybe someone else does too. Plus the holiday season is approaching quickly and as corny as it is, what better time to squash some beef (my favorite phrase ever). Unless your brother or sister stole all your money, crashed your car and somehow got you put in jail under false accusations then really nothing is unforgivable. That was just a hypothetical, maybe even that is not so bad to you...who knows?
