Blogging

I really appreciated how this class incorporated technology as an academic tool. I think it's rare for teachers to take advantage of all the new learning opportunities that are available. Reading other people's blogs helped me to edit my own and develop my posts. For future students creating blogs for assignment, I would suggest picking a topic that provides more possibilities for a standpoint than mine. Family is definitely one of my passions, but difficult to make exciting or form a strong opinion about. 

Bloggers in my community: the most difficult thing for me is trying to maintain a balance. I'm never sure when I am involving a reader too much in my personal life, and when I am not giving enough information. Altogether, I liked the blogging. It made the idea of weekly composition seem a lot less intimidating and monotonous.

Central Support

Today my cousin leaves for his mission. He is a Latter Day Saint and is serving the typical 2 year religious calling most Mormon boys do at 19. He will be in Detroit without a cell phone, T.V, the comfort of family, or familiarity. I truly admire and respect his courage to leave home, and abandon most of the luxuries our society enjoys. LDS patrons stress the importance of family and that is a major aspect I have always appreciated of the religion. 

One of the amazing benefits of family I have found is the confidence you share with one another. Alex has told me he has doubts, and that he is nervous about how he will do, but also that he understands his purpose. I am not putting any religious proclamations in this post, I am simply trying to emphasize the importance of family to each person. Family is the one thing that can remain stable in everyones life. It also can be and usually is entirely different for all people. Personally I don't think family is limited to blood relatives or marriages. Other people I know put emphasis on their belief in a higher being as the predecessor of their genealogy. It doesn't matter what composes your family if you can reap the same benefits from one another. 

"Families are, or should be, a source of emotional support and comfort, warmth and nurturing, protection and security" (Schor). After talking to my cousin Alex about his mission last night, I considered my own fortune. I have learned to look inward for support, as your family is constant and other elements fade. 

Schor, Edward. "The Importance of the Family." Caring for Your School-Age Child Ages 5-12. American Academy of Pediatrics. 06 Jul 1999 11 Dec 2008. http://www.medem.com/medlb/article_detaillb.cfm?article_ID=ZZZ1J60F79C⊂_cat=106.

The Hierarchy of Birth Order

I was  talking to my mom about what to write my next blog on and we got interrupted by a call from her sister. They began their typical banter of how my mom always got the pretty blue dress and my aunt the ugly brown, and how my mom had no rules but my aunt got all the attention. Annoying as that was, it gave me a good idea. In psychology we learned all about the order of children and how personalities are developed by it. 

Oldest siblings tend to be dominant, leaders in their environment. Practically all of our presidents have been the eldest child, or the first-born male in their families (DeBroff). Parents are the most nervous and anticipatory about the first child. As they begin to expand the family with one or more children a middle child appears. The 'middle child syndrome' really does exist. These kids feel like they have to struggle for the spotlight and get shafted when it comes to attention. The last-born or youngest child is when the parents are the most relaxed with the parting styles and they tend to spoil the baby of the family rotten. 

I think this is a really fun subject because the evidence supporting these theories is obvious. My brother (the oldest) is neurotic and authoritative. I (the youngest) am easy-going and, hard to say no to when it comes to my mom. In my mom the facts are clearly exemplified also. Many middle children are artsy and creative, but they are fickle in their tasks. She is all of the above. Think about people you know...can you tell what number they are?

DeBroff, Stacy. "What are the Effects of the Middle Child Syndrome?"  MSNBC Interactive. August 14 2008. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14335112/ December 2, 2008.

To Give Thanks

Writing about the holiday is inevitable. I can't say it's my favorite though. Do we really need a holiday centered around eating until we are sick? Or remembering a holiday where we temporarily celebrated a friendship between people we eventually forced off of their homeland? Yes I guess we do. Now that I'm through with my criticisms of the day, I can say that I do love seeing all the family and having great times with friends I don't see regularly. This is the time where the whole family joins. Everyone covers up the tattoos, takes out the piercings and changes into the family appropriate wardrobe saved for these occasions. And after all of these inconvenient alterations to make everyone feel comfortable, the company we enjoy is worth it.

This Thanksgiving was the first where my entire family did not get together. This one, I spent more with friends who all were too far to go home and needed a makeshift family to be with. It has ended up being one of my favorites. My brother came home for the first time in 14 months and brought three of his friends and thier children and I had my two best friends join us. Each of them added to the experience and together it combined for an unparelled occasion. I hope everyone had a nice break.

Benefitting from Brothers (or sisters)

Recently I was talking to a friend and I began complaining about how my brother talks way too much on the phone. I blamed this for why we don't speak often and really haven't spoken very often for the past year or so. That's not true. My brother is an amazing person who used to be my absolute best friend. He took me under his wing in high school and we did everything together. Since then he has accomplished so much and to be honest it's intimidating. I was reading an article about sibling relationships and it gave advice for all types of sibling problems. I felt like I had to write about it because I would love to not be so selfish in my own relationship with my brother.

The article lists causes of rifts between siblings. The first it discusses is a difference of opinions. My brother and I are like the moon and the sun, nothing alike in appearance, size or function and when one gets in the way the other is pushed completely out of sight. However when we can work together efficiently, we coexist quite nicely as if that's how it was meant to be. In order to reach this equilibrium a few facts must be acknowledged. You can learn a lot from each other. By listening to your sibling's opinion, you may realize something you never knew. Understanding and keeping an open mind will help any relationship, and no one is always right. I know this is much easier said then done.

"There's an old story about two people both wanting the last orange. They
argue long and hard over who gets the orange. Finally, they really listen to
each other. They find that one wants the orange for the juice to drink and the
other wants the rind to flavour an orange cake. They share the orange and both
get what they want in the end."

Miscommunication is a huge problem between siblings. I know for a fact that when my brother says something I am constantly looking for 'what he really means'. It is possible that he is saying it. There are other times when I contradict him just to contradict him, or I object to a request simply because I am too stubborn. I fail to consider that we could each do things for each other and make life a little simpler without surrendering any part of our oh so tough reputations.

Here is what I think everyone has said at least once of a sibling. "You're the favorite, that's why I'm in trouble and you're not!" No. Come on. Of course each child is treated differently, they aren't the same. "Young Adult Health" suggests that if you are feeling this way you should relax first and then tell your parents how your feeling and why. They can probably explain something you're missing or fix a problem they didn't realize existed. It however is not a problem between you and your sibling how they are treated by your parents, it's obviously between you and your parents. Again I totally realize it's easier and way more advantageous in arguments to blame your sibling.

Finally here comes the reasons why you should attempt to do all these things and improve your sibling relationship.
1. They will always be related to you. (not what the psychologist says...my personal input)
2. You will have shared memories that last lifetimes
3. This is someone you can always depend on

It goes on to list things like laughter, fun games and things I feel nauseous writing. Yeah it's all great to have perfect relationships. A lot of what I read on this subject seemed like common sense, but when I thought about how often I applied it to my own relationship with my brother I was shocked. I don't try to understand him or even listen. I don't open the lines of communication because I am too ashamed of what I have not accomplished. To fix this maybe I should actually do something, makes more sense then totally isolating my brother. I figured if I needed these reminders maybe someone else does too. Plus the holiday season is approaching quickly and as corny as it is, what better time to squash some beef (my favorite phrase ever). Unless your brother or sister stole all your money, crashed your car and somehow got you put in jail under false accusations then really nothing is unforgivable. That was just a hypothetical, maybe even that is not so bad to you...who knows?

En Clase Tarea Numero Dos

My topic is the analysis of relationships in the family. In class we looked over great blogs and lucky me one was consistent with my topic and therefore provided a perfect example I could use for this. Dooce is a blog written by a mom where she discusses her relationships with her daughter and husband along with other day-today occurrences. She uses very personal experiences and invites the reader with her during her life. She is comical and real making it easy to read and entertaining. These posts enable literary tools consistently and she emphasizes her excitement in each post. She posts regularly, sometimes everyday and I assume she has a large following, however her comments are closed. This really is a great blog. She is a great writer who displays her family proudly online and in a respectful manner. Not only does she discuss her family, but she incorporates current events and future effects that present day decisions will have. The layout of her blog is very efficient, displaying her posts, archive and pictures in a simple way. She uses links to each entry and has different places for readers to go and purchase paraphernalia, contact her directly and view the blog activity in an organized display. Without focusing any of her posts on this subject, by using her family in her writing, she incorporates her parenting techniques and relationship opinions. I love to use personal experiences from other people so this is completely relevant to my topic. I didn't see a link to another blog from her page...I may just be computer inept.

Perfection Poses Pressures

My favorite quote has always been, "shoot for the moon, and even if you miss, you will land among the stars." Therefore I believe aiming for perfection is a fine goal, as long as it is understood that perfection is unattainable. Not that I have ever had this problem, but I know that some people have experienced real problems when too much perfection is expected of them. Just like aiming for perfection, expecting perfection is completely unfair. People can only do so much. "Positive expectations may be meant to spur us on, but often they can just lead to a chronic sense of not quite making the mark - or not quite ever being good enough. At worst some people are left with a permanent sense of failure" (Relationships).

I would like to focus on one possible effect of these pressures briefly. While I was reading about the effects, one continually showed up. Many children who feel pressured to be perfect feel out of control and try to control whatever aspects of their life they feel possible. This can lead to eating disorders. "A teenager with anorexia nervosa is typically a perfectionist and a high achiever in school. At the same time, she suffers from low self-esteem, irrationally believing she is fat regardless of how thin she becomes. Desperately needing a feeling of mastery over her life, the teenager with anorexia nervosa experiences a sense of control only when she says "no" to the normal food demands of her body. In a relentless pursuit to be thin, the girl starves herself"(Facts for Family). Funny how perfection leads to such mistakes. Its upsetting that people even put this amount of pressure on someone.

I believe people chose how well they want to do all on their own. Other people may inspire them and provide good sources of motivation, inevitable though the choice to succeed is self-determined. Too-high expectations are just as disappointing to not accomplish as someone expecting failure out of you. We all have to consider that no one handles their tasks the same way. Obligations hold different weight for the person responsible for them.

"Relationships." 12 Nov. 2008. http://www.bbc.co.uk/relationships/improving_your_confidence/feature_pressure.shtml

Tejada, Nelson A. Facts For Families. American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. Nov 11 2008. www.aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_families/facts_for_families