10.28.2008

Can the rebellious reform?

It is an understatement to say that people make mistakes. Some people are mistakes, and some may define a mistake completely different than another. In my opinion a mistake is something you learn nothing from. Everything other than that falls under life lessons. It is nearly impossible to hear someone explain why something fun is detrimental and then unquestioningly take their word for it. People test things out, there is no easier person to listen to then yourself. 

I took that to a new level for my family in high school. When my dad (a retired navy captain who is more intimidating than any Halloween costume) said absolutely not, I was only more enticed. Now, that's not to say I did any real damage. I never got involved with the law, and I never did poorly in my classes. I did however have a 'serpent's tongue' and may have tested out the backdoor for my parents a few times while they were sleeping. There have also been occasions where I may have given false information as to my location or my plans for an evening. It sounds simple and typical, but even I understand that I pushed the typical teenager boundaries. 

When I got to college for tennis it's like someone opened all the fun doors for me. I hardly noticed that classes were involved. Tennis was bearable, parties were always there, but classes, that was asking too much. I had a hard time balancing priorities. I realized that I wasn't taking advantage of the right opportunities available to me, and made my own choice to come home and reorganize myself. 

Usually a phone call home saying you will be seeing a lot more of each other renders an excited response filled with future plans. This was not the case. It was more of a "this better not be because you couldn't cut it" reaction. I deserved that. I chose to spend the summer with my grandparents in Idaho and separate myself from any temptation at home to fall into my usual routine, and realized a lot while I was there (there was little else to do). I came home with great intentions and big plans. I enrolled with 17 credits, got a full-time job, began volunteering at the clinic, and started looking into scholarships for transferring. Of course this was regarded skeptically, and I consistently heard that this was obviously a temporary phase and while it was nice, it wouldn't last. Now that I am halfway through the semester and applying to the Platoon Leadership Course with the Marines, is that still the case? I have maintained all A's and been to all of my classes, shifts, and accumulated 50 hours of community service. All I hear from my parents is: "You couldn't make your bed today?, Is it impossible to keep your car clean? Do you really have to drive so much?" and my all time favorite "Let's not exaggerate." To explain: No, I do not make my bed; my car only contains the books I use in school, because I hardly have time to come home to switch them out; I drive to all of my obligations, nothing more; the exaggeration is referring to when I say I am exhausted.

Don't get me wrong my parents are wonderful, but they are judging me from the past. I do believe that plays a part in who I am today, however are parents immune to reassessing situations? I know they are supposed to maintain an 'always right' disposition, but what about when they're not? This from the "rebellious child" who has straight As and has made curfew for 5 straight months.

3 comments:

  1. you are wonderful
    i must say though that i strongly believe that we learn a lot from our mistakes. One of the reasons that you are turning things around is because of the mistkes you made. If you never made a mistake how would you know right from wrong? Some ways that i have bettered myself is exactly because i didnt want to make the same mistakes. I think i make mistakes on purpose so i can say well ill learn from it haha.

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  2. Wow, I thought I was reading something I wrote about myself. I was labeled as the 'black sheep' in my family for similar reasons. Being first generation, there were a lot of nos during my life. No boyfriend until college graduation, no make up, no school dances & I wasn't even allowed to go to a movie.

    I can relate to your situation. As a parent now, I can look at it from a parent's point of view. I'm grateful for their sacrifice. You're on the right track with your life. As long as you're doing the right thing, the end result is what matters. For myself, I can't complain about my life. Every mistake I made was to prepare me for where I'm at now, and it's a good thing.

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  3. Even people with the greatest intentions in life make mistakes, but it's what you do after that builds you character. Someone gave me this the other day, so I think that it is only appropriate to share this nugget of info/inspiration: "The harder the conflict, the more glorious the truiump. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly; it is dearness only that gives everything its value. I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress and grow brave by reflection. 'Tis the business of little mids to shrink; but he whose heart is firm, and whose consience approves his conduct, will purse his principles unto death." Thomas Paine
    Best of luck to you wild child. Federick Brooks (fedarallie.blogspot.com)

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I'm 19 and deciding what I want to do with my life. I'm open to suggestions.