En clase

My topic is an odd one. I am writing about the generalizations that people make, about their families. This is a little bit situational based on your own family, but I am hoping to hit the most common and incorrect, or misconceived stereotypes. Everyone knows that they exist, and unless you have one of the good ones, it would be nice to establish the inaccuracy that they contain. A good example of what I am thinking is the term "soccer mom." Since when did it become derogatory to haul your kids to their team practices. Another I love is the "older sibling syndrome." Some of these I choose to personally tag as what I believe them to be. The "older sibling syndrome" is the constantly competitive, obnoxiously authoritative, and belittling attitude of an elder sibling. To me the options are infinite; someone always feels ostracized by their family for some reason.

To research for this I plan to use other experiences that people have had in their own lives along with my own to compare and verify the data. The material I am writing on is based a lot on psychological effects that actions by family members inevitably have on their recipients. To determine the actual scientifically verified consequences, I will look into psychology books, and will hopefully find some case studies that are relevant. Psychology is one of the topics that I either find extremely interesting, or extremely superfluous. I have studied psychology at the introductory levels and have a few textbooks that I can go back to and dig up the information I studied about familial relationships. It's amazing to know the impact you have on someones life. A few simple word could mean the absolute most to them. What I would like to learn about is how to maximize relationships. I know that ignorantly I say things to people and unintentionally cause some rifts. For this I would like to research and develop an idea of how people determine the role of another person in their lives. Family relationships automatically hold more weight with most people. That is why I am focusing here. The stories I hear about fathers who have trouble conveying emotion and therefore negatively effect future relationships their children have, interest me to no end. Why does it matter so much what your father thinks? Why can't a child develop separate ways of functioning in relationships?

Not only are parental impacts important. There are the interactions between brothers and sisters, cousins, aunts and uncles, grandparents, and step siblings or half siblings. All in all my options are endless. There are no definitive boundaries set on this topic. I am completely enthralled in the possibilities so the writing hopefully will convey that.

Recognizing the Effort

On to the mother’s dilemma: to stay at home and raise your family or go to work and sacrifice time with the kids. Either route chosen is an admirable one facing many challenges and undoubtedly just being a mother is absolutely the largest in my opinion. I have however encountered people that lack an understanding of all the obligations of stay at home mothers. None of this is from personal experience, but an exceptional mother who spent some time at home and in the labor force raised me.

"They wash dirty socks, change endless diapers, and feed hungry mouths. Their shift doesn't end at five: duty calls 24/7, 365 days a year, 7 days a week. They don't get to go home at the end of the day and kick back on the couch, but you won't find them complaining. Who are these diaper wrangling divas, the mysterious masterminds of household chaos? Stay at home mothers (Harder)."

I found this great quote in a blog and couldn’t have thought of a better way to state it. I have literally heard my friends say they were looking forward to sleeping in and relaxing when they were parents. I guess this is one of the stereotypes I have never seen the reason behind.

Dealing with my own needs and myself sometimes seems overwhelming, but to add the needs of one or more beings is impossible to grasp. There were 5.6 million stay-at-home moms in 2006 as recorded by the government census. 55%
of mothers in 2004, participated in the labor force, which is down from a record high of 59 percent in 1998. Even more interesting than these statistics, I found some on the child care centers in the U.S. In 2004, there were 729,040 child care centers that parents used to maintain the supervision of their children. This could only be interesting to me, but half of this I had never realized. Parents must have much more energy than they are constantly saying they lack.

“Staying at home is a marathon, not a sprint. Stay-at-home moms need to string together months and years of such days. Their strength lies in their ability to store vast reserves of the energy, patience, resilience, and affection required to raise a child. Marathoners need a healthy heart, and so do stay-at-home moms (Harder).”

I have the utmost respect for every parent who has chosen the hands-on path. It takes a dedication and supreme devotion to forego career advancements for personally more gratifying experiences. Throw this stereotype to the wind; there is nothing lax about stay-at-home-parenting.

Harder, Christopher. "Among the Stay-At-Home Moms, A Dad in Disguise.” 30 October, 2008. http://www.csmonitor.com/2008/1030/p19s03-hfes.html

“The Surprising Pricetag of Motherhood.” 13 May, 2008. Make Me a Hot Mama. http://www.makemeahotmama.com/2008/05/suprising-price-tag-of-motherhood.html

“Mother’s Day: May 13, 2007.” 13 May 2007. US Federal Census Bureau. http://www.census.gov/Press Release/www/releases/archives/facts_for_features_special_editions/009747.html -

The reasons behind

I tried to think of something that was really important to me and the first thing that came to mind was family; however not in the typical sense. Recently all I have been working to do is move up in the familial hierarchy. I have been deemed the "rebellious child" for my actions in high school and even carrying over into my first semester, but my dramatic advancements since then are being ignored. I realize that there are numerous situations similar to mine where people are misjudged, not by strangers, but by family. Some examples off the top of my had would be: the "golden child", the "overbearing parent", the "push-over parent" (my personal favorite), the "inactive, knitting grandma", and of course many more. I understand how hard it is to change your mind about someone especially someone so close to you that you repeatedly see make the same actions. For research I am hoping that searching other people's blogs and using stories to reveal good examples will be adequate. 

Can the rebellious reform?

It is an understatement to say that people make mistakes. Some people are mistakes, and some may define a mistake completely different than another. In my opinion a mistake is something you learn nothing from. Everything other than that falls under life lessons. It is nearly impossible to hear someone explain why something fun is detrimental and then unquestioningly take their word for it. People test things out, there is no easier person to listen to then yourself. 

I took that to a new level for my family in high school. When my dad (a retired navy captain who is more intimidating than any Halloween costume) said absolutely not, I was only more enticed. Now, that's not to say I did any real damage. I never got involved with the law, and I never did poorly in my classes. I did however have a 'serpent's tongue' and may have tested out the backdoor for my parents a few times while they were sleeping. There have also been occasions where I may have given false information as to my location or my plans for an evening. It sounds simple and typical, but even I understand that I pushed the typical teenager boundaries. 

When I got to college for tennis it's like someone opened all the fun doors for me. I hardly noticed that classes were involved. Tennis was bearable, parties were always there, but classes, that was asking too much. I had a hard time balancing priorities. I realized that I wasn't taking advantage of the right opportunities available to me, and made my own choice to come home and reorganize myself. 

Usually a phone call home saying you will be seeing a lot more of each other renders an excited response filled with future plans. This was not the case. It was more of a "this better not be because you couldn't cut it" reaction. I deserved that. I chose to spend the summer with my grandparents in Idaho and separate myself from any temptation at home to fall into my usual routine, and realized a lot while I was there (there was little else to do). I came home with great intentions and big plans. I enrolled with 17 credits, got a full-time job, began volunteering at the clinic, and started looking into scholarships for transferring. Of course this was regarded skeptically, and I consistently heard that this was obviously a temporary phase and while it was nice, it wouldn't last. Now that I am halfway through the semester and applying to the Platoon Leadership Course with the Marines, is that still the case? I have maintained all A's and been to all of my classes, shifts, and accumulated 50 hours of community service. All I hear from my parents is: "You couldn't make your bed today?, Is it impossible to keep your car clean? Do you really have to drive so much?" and my all time favorite "Let's not exaggerate." To explain: No, I do not make my bed; my car only contains the books I use in school, because I hardly have time to come home to switch them out; I drive to all of my obligations, nothing more; the exaggeration is referring to when I say I am exhausted.

Don't get me wrong my parents are wonderful, but they are judging me from the past. I do believe that plays a part in who I am today, however are parents immune to reassessing situations? I know they are supposed to maintain an 'always right' disposition, but what about when they're not? This from the "rebellious child" who has straight As and has made curfew for 5 straight months.

Intro

Hey there, my name is Kathleen. I am currently a student at the famous nova dame while I also work, volunteer at a clinic and assistant coach a middle school volleyball team. I'm not exactly loving my situation, being that I have moved back home, but I left once, I'm sure I can do it again; hopefully this time I'll actually want to stay wherever I go to. I have a hard time choosing what to eat for breakfast so you can imagine what my life decisions are like. Anyone who can keep up with me and my thought process will infinitely impress me. I have one brother who just graduated from UVA, my mom is amazing and is a librarian for Woodbridge Middle School, and lastly my dad is a retired Navy Captain and is the best man I have ever met. I have lived in a few different sates because of my dad, and I have developed an extreme respect for the military and a desire to go in. Those are the basics; I love fun.